Labour pains of being a Mummy from the Modern Mrs. Bennet Diaries By Tracy Spiers Motherhood, Mrs. Bennet decided was like being in permanent labour. There were moments of calm. And there were moments when the contractions were so painful, she felt like screaming. Sitting on the doorstep, head in hands and breathing deeply was one of those moments. Minutes before the little Twin Bennets were happily playing in the playroom, Miss Bennet Number One was literally plastered with paper mache, engrossed in building a model air raid shelter, Miss Bennet Number Two was cartwheeling across the lounge floor, while Miss Bennet Number Three was sitting quietly amidst a rainbow of coloured felt tips working on her latest masterpiece. There was a contented aura in the house which meant Mrs Bennet could get on with preparing tea without having to act as referee or counsellor. So how come then she was now sitting on the step, wishing she was somewhere else and counting the minutes to Mr. Bennet’s return? She was victim of the domino effect. The Braxton Hicks contractor that started small, but built up so strongly, she had top gasp for air. Since she had no cylinder of Gas and Air to call upon, it meant leaving the house to count to ten and get her blood pressure under control again. It started with the simple act of opening a cupboard. A small bottle of pearly brown nail varnish had nose-dived into her favourite spotty mug and in doing so smashed the top, sending little chips onto the hob and floor. Bending down to pick up the bits, she banged her head on the corner of a cupboard she had forgotten to shut. Simultaneously battles were erupting in the different downstairs rooms. The little Miss Twin Bennets, who up until now had been behaving themselves, sharing their toys and chatting in their unique Spagbolese language, were now at war. The elder twin by 20 minutes was sitting on top of her sister’s head, refusing to let go of her as her rival had stolen both Fifi characters and wasn’t going to give in. Prizing her from the head sitter, affectionately known as Spag, Mrs. Bennet issued a peace treaty and separated the two fighters. Meanwhile the cartwheeling Miss Bennet had promptly crashed into the very table her artistic siblings were working on, wobbling it to the degree it caused glue to spill and felt tip marks to slip. “Now my picture’s ruined! It’s all your fault Emily!” exclaimed Miss Bennet number three, ripping up her bright design. “And look what you’ve done!” cried the elder Miss Bennet, not impressed by the acrobat. In sorting out this scenario, Mrs Bennet completely forgot about the pot of boiling water and the pasta within. A certain burning smell was heading her way. Too late, the pasta was now part of the saucepan. She hurriedly picked up the handle and ushered the pan to the sink, but somehow failed to miss the pair of tiny pink spotty sunglasses on the floor and crushed them underfoot, hurting herself as she did so. The younger twin, to which the mini fashion accessory belonged, didn’t miss a trick and immediately howled, knowing full well what her mother had just done. So now Mrs. Bennet was the accused and Bol had the evidence that she was guilty. Mrs. Bennet felt like the burnt pasta: frazzled. And it was another 90 minutes before her Mr. Darcy arrived to rescue her. Sometimes the contractions of motherhood came thick and fast; other days they were a little less frequent. Very rarely was there a day in the Bennet household, when the labour pains barely registered on the graph. And of course there were moments when Mrs. Bennet, so sleep deprived, felt like she had taken one too many puffs on the Gas and Air. Yesterday she had bathed Bol and dried her, to be told by Mr. Bennet that she had failed to wash out the shampoo on the little twin’s head! She had spent the day wearing her top inside out and one earring only and the bottle of Chardonnay she had bought for a friend, promptly rolled out of the car and smashed at her feet as she opened the door. “You think once you’ve had a child, labour stops. But it’s a lie, it continues for years,” she said out loud from her I-feel-sorry-for-myself step. She breathed out as she was taught all those years ago at Parentcraft lessons and made a decision to see if there were some Gas and Air cylinders on EBay she could bid for. She’d then keep one in each room ready for the next contraction. For more log on to www.modernmrsbennet.blogspot.com Help your child feel calm and less anxious by creating a calm environment for them to play, rest and relax in Encourage your child to make suggestions to make their bedroom even more comfortable and relaxing. Children love newness and will love helping rearrange their room. It can be a lovely chance to spend quality time with them and find out what they love.
Here are a few suggestions.
1 Keep TV and videos out of the room. Although it maybe tempting to let children fall asleep watching a program, it actually is stimulating and can cause more sleep problems.
2 Keep the colour scheme soft and relaxing.
3 Play relaxing music in the evening and soften the lighting.
4 Create a relax area - just a cushion will do - a place where children can sit back, reflect and chill out.
5 Buy some new sheets that bring newness to the room, or dye some exisiting ones.
6 Try painting a simple mural on one section of the wall. For more tips about managing stress and anxiety, and improving concentration in children from Marneta Viegas, visit www.relaxkids.com | | Michelle Gets Puffed out! Anyone who knows me will politely describe me as being ‘cuddly’, others who are probably a bit more honest would call me something else! So it will surprise most people to know that I was actually a fitness instructor for many years before I gave birth to my son. After years of teaching aerobic classes, step classes, aqua aerobics, weight-training, circuit classes, personal training, and teaching line dancing, it was kind of refreshing to head for the sofa of an evening with a packet of crisps and actually watch all the soaps on television that I had previously only heard about while chatting in the gym. Nowadays I admit that if I get the desire to exercise, I will go and lie down until the urge passes. But the pressure to stay healthy and trim is constantly being pushed upon us from all angles. You visit the doctors for a routine check-up, only to have him or her narrow their eyes at you and sigh as you step on the scale, which always seems to need budging up the scale a little each time you go. This is often followed by the usual pep talk about getting enough exercise and eating your five-a-day. Even the television is loaded with programmes about weight issues - fat families, super-size to super-skinny, eat yourself slim etc. But it is the morning TV shows with their resident health and fitness guru’s grinning at you enthusiastically, all shiny and bright at stupid o’clock in the morning that get my goat. There you are all bleary-eyed with bed hair, in need of a good dose of caffeine, and having to get yourself and other family members fed, dressed, groomed, and lunches packed all within 45 minutes, and while you are doing all this these hyperactive TV guru’s are saying “come on, pull on your trainers and exercise with me!” I just want to throw my fried eggs at the TV screen when they appear! However, we do have a rebounder in our living room. For those unfamiliar with this piece of equipment, it is like a round mini-trampoline with six legs that you bounce up and down on. Unlike other pieces of home exercise equipment, a rebounder is actually quite good fun! It is like re-visiting your childhood when you could go bounce for hours on those giant trampolines the holiday parks used to have years ago. I find after a little while of bouncing I can get quite giggly, it is truly a sight to see, and the best thing is there is no one around to shake their head and look down their nose at me. And this is the whole point – if you are going to buy some home exercise equipment, you have to buy something that you will enjoy using. This way you will have half a change of actually using it regularly, and therefore reap the health benefits. How many people do you know who got an exercise bike or other piece of equipment only to end up using it at a clothes hanger? Parents lead very busy lives, and trying to fit in some regular exercise while looking after a family can be really difficult, if not impossible. Maybe going to the gym is something you just cannot manage, so having a piece of home fitness equipment is a good option if your time is limited, or your finances cannot stretch to gym memberships. Food for thought? Michelle (Joint Editor CFL). Join our FREE weekly email newsletter for more top tips, suggestions, and an often quirky look at life! Complete our sign-up form at the bottom of this page. |
